Ten Ways To Be Better At Dealing With Difficult People

There are some key points to make when you are dealing with people who, for one reason or another, seem to be difficult, so get ready – it’s you that has to change your own behaviors. So, here are a few clues to move you 95% of the way!

Build Relationships

Just talk to people. Listen to people. Spend time with them and show that you truly care.

Focus on Outcomes

Bottom line – you have a business to run – you have goals and visions for your business. Whilst you are working towards these you are able to take really objective positions. Working in tandem with a ‘difficult person’ is challenging, but focus on where you are going, not the personal issues you face.

See Value

Recognising the potential of ‘difficult people’ is half the battle. They are a value and flicking the switch that truly turns them on is a worthwhile challenge.

Meet Regularly

For an ongoing issue, make sure that you show and keep your commitments to them. This builds trust and that, in turn, makes resolution a whole lot easier.

Be Honest and Open

It is no good trying to resolve issues when Dealing with Difficult People, if you are going to either renege on your agreements or fall down on your business targets. Now is the time to be frank and honest and get a stake in the ground.

These people have been lied to enough. Be really clear on your expectations and stick to them. Change their view on authority forever!


If you can go some way to help them resolve the cause of their anger, and it fits with everything you and your business stands for, then do it – and do it fast. Whatever you promise, deliver on. Liaise with them in good time.

Overdeliver on pace and issues, where you can. You will be amazed at what a difference this makes. Wanna become a hero? This works!

Respect Them

These people are real human beings. They hurt just like you do. They are, it’s true, showing some tricky behaviours – so help them with them. Make a difference to that person – you could be changing their life in a way you would never have thought possible. Have some fun even. Share a laugh maybe?

Find a Win-Win

Solutions when Dealing with Difficult People are not cop-outs on either side. A compromise means that someone is losing here. Find a common position and seek to meet half way without losing site of what is the most important to each of you.

There is usually a win-win out there. If not, it’s time to find a solution that removes them from your business.

Stick to the Point

Be clear where you are going with your challenges. It is vital to have everything in place with the most difficult of ‘difficult people’. It is also of great value to have a majority on your side, albeit subtly to avoid an apparent ‘ganging up’. Play this game from a position of strength

Focus on Behaviours

There are often ways of highlighting a ‘difficult persons’ qualities. Usually when Dealing with Difficult People you’ll find they do have them! In many ways these people stick around because they like bits of the role, but not others, so you can play on their capabilities and leverage them.

Treat them not as a difficult employee, more as a misunderstood and valuable person and work on their behaviours. Remember though, that you have to work on your own first!

(c) 2007 Coaching Businesses To Success. Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. For a free e-course contact cbts01@aweber.com. More? There are hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.Coaching-Businesses-To-Success.com

Author: Martin Haworth
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Programmable Multi-cooker

Transformational Leadership Theory – The 4 Key Components in Leading Change & Managing Change

Transformational leadership theory is all about leadership that creates positive change in the followers whereby they take care of each other’s interests and act in the interests of the group as a whole. James MacGregor Burns first brought the concept of transformational leadership to prominence in his extensive research into leadership.

“Essentially the leader’s task is consciousness-raising on a wide plane. The leader’s fundamental act is to induce people to be aware or conscious of what they feel – to feel their true needs so strongly, to define their values so meaningfully, that they can be moved to purposeful action.”

In this leadership style, the leader enhances the motivation, moral and performance of his follower group. So according to MacGregor – transformational leadership is all about values and meaning, and a purpose that transcends short-term goals and focuses on higher order needs.

At times of organisational change, and big step change, people do feel insecure, anxious and low in energy – so in these situations and especially in these difficult times, enthusiasm and energy are infectious and inspiring.

And yet so many organisational changes fail because leaders pay attention to the changes they are facing instead of the transitions people must make to accommodate them.

In my view it is the responsibility of the director leading the change to supply an infusion of positive energy.
The transformational approach also depends on winning the trust of people – which is made possible by the unconscious assumption that they too will be changed or transformed in some way by following the leader.

The transformational approach also depends on winning the trust of people – which is made possible by the unconscious assumption that they too will be changed or transformed in some way by following the leader.

This is often seen in military commanders and wartime political leaders. An example of this would be the way in which Lady Thatcher – as Prime Minister of the UK Government during the Falklands War in 1982 – was able to engender an enhanced feeling of British national identity amongst the UK population.

Sounds like this leadership style is ideally suited to change management, doesn’t it? However – this approach requires absolute integrity and personal behaviour that is consistent and resonant with your vision and message.

I can recall a ridiculous situation, at one UK company I was involved with, where the directors were attempting to effect a culture change of greater inter-departmental trust and communication yet still retained a separate directors dining room and specially allocated car parking places closest to the office front door!

OK here’s the important bit – how NOT to apply transformational leadership theory to change management

– Be preoccupied with power, position, politics and perks
– Stay focused on the short-term
– Be hard data oriented
– Focus on tactical issues
– Work within existing structures and systems
– Concentrate on getting the job done
– Focus processes and activities that guarantee short-term profits

Doesn’t all this just sound like a description of a typical good project manager with a task driven mentality?

And hey, I have nothing against this style of leadership and management. There is a time and place for the Attila the Hun school of leadership. I have done it many times myself and very effectively – and with no regrets.

But, this leadership style is not enough in a change management situation and particularly in the current climate.

The four components of the transformational leadership style are:

(1) Charisma or idealised influence – the degree to which the leader behaves in admirable ways and displays convictions and takes stands that cause followers to identify with the leader who has a clear set of values and acts as a role model for the followers.

(2) Inspirational motivation – the degree to which the leader articulates a vision that is appeals to and inspires the followers with optimism about future goals, and offers meaning for the current tasks in hand.

(3) Intellectual stimulation – the degree to which the leader challenges assumptions, stimulates and encourages creativity in the followers – by providing a framework for followers to see how they connect [to the leader, the organisation, each other, and the goal] they can creatively overcome any obstacles in the way of the mission.

(4) Personal and individual attention – the degree to which the leader attends to each individual follower’s needs and acts as a mentor or coach and gives respect to and appreciation of the individual’s contribution to the team. This fulfills and enhances each individual team members’ need for self-fulfillment, and self-worth – and in so doing inspires followers to further achievement and growth.

Transformational leadership applied in a change management context, is ideally suited to the holistic and wide view perspective of a programme based approach to change management and as such is key element of successful strategies for managing change.

And, to ensure that you ARE employing successful strategies for managing change – that are appropriate to your organisation – you need to know how to apply: (a) these transformational leadership skills, AND (b) how to apply the supporting programme management based processes – to ensure that you avoid the catastrophic 70% failure rate of ALL business change initiatives.

For more on this: ” Transformational leadership theory

I invite you to take advantage of this FREE download: Starting the Change Process

Find out the 3 main reasons for the 70% failure rate of all step change initiatives and how to avoid it. This FREE 29 page document offers a brief introduction to some of the key themes and key points that you need to consider in starting the change process.

Stephen Warrilow, based in Bristol, works with companies across the UK providing specialist support to directors delivery significant change initiatives. Stephen has 25 years cross sector experience with 100+ companies in mid range corporate, larger SME and corporate environments.

Author: Stephen Warrilow
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Story Telling As a Project Management Tool

Before the human race had words, stories in gestures and drawings were the base for learning and continuous improvement. Here are 7 ways that stories are still effective tools today.

1. Communicate Stories get the message across in concepts that can be universally understood. Whether it’s pictures on cave walls, parables, fairy tales, folk tales, or anecdotes, people understand a concept in the form of a story. They can “see” what you’re saying in your word pictures.

2. DemonstrateThe word pictures in your story make it easy for your listeners to understand your point. People get it when they hear about the fox and the grapes. They get the idea of applying negative aspects to something that seems too hard to get and how counterproductive that can be.

3. Educate When you present your points in a story you have many devices to help you illustrate the differences between the current situation and the anticipated change. A story with pictures can be that light bulb over the head moment for your audience.

4. Elevate Like an assembly worker who was startled to be called a subject matter expert and seemed to grow in stature, aligning the team members with the hero of your story inspires them to greater things. An awareness of their importance to the project gets commitment.

5. Motivate Deliver a very clear idea of where you’re going. Stories lead to morals or calls to action. They can change behavior for better or worse depending on the speaker’s motivation. A story with a successful outcome brought about by the kind of action you’re encouraging is very motivational.

6. Collaborate The common understanding and vision brought about by your story provide the foundation for the team effort. You’ve got everyone on board and ready to work together. They’re poised to hear and understand the call to action.

7. Activate Use your story as a springboard for the requests you’re going to make. You want some specific tasks to be completed to ensure the successful completion of a project. Make sure the story you select supports the action you want the team to take.

Conclusion: Your presentation will be more effective and achieve the results you’re after with relevant, clear, concise communication in the form of stories.

Got drama in your workplace? Drama comes from confusion and resulting dissatisfaction. Put a solid, structured business system and clear, concise communication in place and end the drama.

Joy Montgomery converts business requirements to system specifications, presentations, and documents in a way that strengthens teams – a friendly way. She puts you in a position to succeed with consistently satisfied customers and employees.

Author: Joy Montgomery